Gym Girl Dana

I spend a lot of time commuting; just like thousands of others that drive to work daily. Additionally, with my son in his fourth year attending PSU, that’s been a four hour drive I’ve taken quite often. And each drive I take, it’s amazing.

Hand held cell phone use has been against the law for years. Doesn’t seem to matter to some, and why is that? I’m on Route 22 and suddenly, cars are jamming on breaks and quickly switching lanes as one car, a center lane, slows way down. As I approach and safely pass, as I was in the lane to her left, she’s happily chatting and laughing while holding her cell to her left ear. Doesn’t seem like an emergency. Doesn’t seem she’s upset. She’s all smiles while causing stress and aggravation to everyone around her as she’s far below the speed limit and blissfully unaware. Do you use a handheld while driving?

Texting. How many people have been seriously hurt and even killed due to texting and driving. Yet, it’s still happening daily and by hundreds of drivers. This causes speed inconsistencies, lane crossing, and of course, crashes. TV commercials, audio commercials, news stories announcing fatalities, statistics updated, all sharing the warnings and horrors of texting and driving. Doesn’t matter. Do you do it?

We are in a society where laws and rules don’t seem to apply to the masses. The consequences of breaking the law don’t seem to matter to us. The thought that another persons life hangs in the balance doesn’t seem to resonate. Are we that self absorbed and self righteous? One year ago we were fighting one another for toilet paper and hoarding everything possible to ensure our own comforts while other people went without. It didn’t seem to matter.

What have we become?

As I’m spending hours on the road weekly, surrounded by chaos, I have to ask myself why.

When the state law in NJ is that the left lane is a passing lane and not a travel lane, why do people continually cruise in the left and force others to pass on their right? Why can’t we refrain from using our cell phones while traveling to our destination? Why do we feel our lives are so much more important than the lives of others? What is it going to take? How have we become so self centered and how do we change?

Is it just me?

Trader Joes can be like Amazon; you either love them or you hate them. Myself, I love them. They go against so many retail/customer service theories, and WIN.

The average food store is 50,000 square feet with a huge parking lot, plenty of shopping carts, usually in varying sizes. Aisles upon aisles of everything you could need while you’re there. Trader Joes, they built a business on an average of 1,200 square feet, with a small parking lot and smaller shopping carts. They based their business on ‘quick in and out’ and when the founder was sharing his idea with investors, he was told over and over that the idea would never work. Well, whaddya know?

Trader Joe’s stores have only have an average of about 4,000 items per store compared to 40,000 or more SKUs per normal grocery store.  Again, this means lower prices all around and frankly it just makes it easier to navigate the store with fewer choices. When your store is ¼ the size of a normal grocery store, it means lower overhead and lower prices.

Let’s talk about staffing. Most of the people you see working at Trader Joe’s are “crew members” these are the non-management employees. You can recognize them because they usually wear Trader Joe’s  t-shirts. Management must wear some type of Hawaiian shirt mostly button down type, short sleeve shirts. Most employees in the store can pretty much answering any question about any product, stock shelves and ring up sales. They are always around and almost always helpful. If you want to sample a product, usually they will open something up and let you have a taste! Seriously!

Additionally, the crew members at Trader Joes are exceptionally trained. Trader Joes is famous for discontinuing items and rotating new items in. Sometimes seasonally, sometimes deliberately. When I’ve visited a big box store and asked for an item, I’ve been told, “we’re out” and I just continue on. With Trader Joes, the crew members are trained to ‘counsel’ you. They will find out what you liked about the item, how long you’ve been using it and introduce you to something else you may like. As you read above, you can even sample it there to ensure it will work for you. They don’t want you to walk away disappointed. I think that’s brilliant.

One of the biggest differences with Trader Joes is their customers. Trader Joes has fans, not clients. These fans, like myself, promote the business through posting recipes, product review, FAQ pages, and loyalty groups on social media pages. The customers are so happy with the store and it’s employees that they drive the business for them; most times unknowingly, just out of genuine bliss of their TJ’s experience. There’s no commercials, no special sales, just 12-14 hour days of low prices and happy employees resulting in a culture unlike any other in the grocery industry.

Again, I’m not affiliated with Trader Joes, just a fan myself.

If you haven’t gone, check it out. If you’ve gone and been less than thrilled, maybe give it another shot knowing some of this insider information. There’s so much more to share, too!

What happened to that? If you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.

Social media has made so many fearless keyboard warriors.

I’ve used social media to build my businesses, connect with family, maintain friendships. It’s got some good qualities. It’s also got an ugly side too. Maybe you’ve seen it.

I’m in so many different groups on Facebook. From Peloton to a fave TV show, Boston Terrier groups to cleaning without chemicals. There’s a lot of value in many of these and a non stop streaming of opinions. What never ceases to amaze me is the negativity and humiliation.

A Million Little Things is a tv show that I really enjoy. In the group, they chat about the latest episode and conspiracy theories that may be up and coming. What they also do is bitch, moan, complain and argue about every character they don’t like, the lines they don’t agree with, the story line moving one way or another, and how stupid the opinions are of others posting in the group.

With Peloton, there’s a slew of options. Peloton, Peloton insert your state, Peloton Women, Peloton Moms, Peloton Men, Peloton Gays, Peloton Teachers and so on and so on and so on….I am in the Peloton Women group. Truth be told, I was in the Peloton group originally and the women’s group. One thing is many of the posts were the same; cross posting is huge to gather information. But in that Peloton group, the comments were amazingly rude. It was like a volcanic eruption if someone asked a question that had been addressed, or *gasp* you asked a question about purchasing a Peloton and you were already in the group because you’re just an app user on a Schwinn. These people were ruthless. I found that I wasn’t getting value and left the group. In Peloton Women, many ladies comment on the same observation and their exit from the group. Lately, however, the Women’s group has begun to be just as fierce.

A woman posted about ‘licking the face’ of a certain instructor. The community went ballistic.

Again, we are celebrating WAP, song of the year and praising the sexual prowess of women equating that to success and power. This woman went from meaning to compliment the attractiveness of an instructor to sexualizing them, and comments are flying. Best part, is the keyboard community began commenting on the looks of the poster and begin attacking her. The whole thing is so freaking hypocritical.

In another group, a town group, a man posted about the conditions of a parking lot. He had damage to his car from a pot hole. He was looking for help to find the property owner/manager and how to file a complaint. Instead he got over 300 comments about his driving, his texting, his greed, his stupidity, his profile pic, his whining and his education. There were a few comments sprinkled in that had other people saying they also have experienced this monster pot hole, but those people were few and far between from the nay sayers and negativity slashers that consumed this guys post.

Can we please stop being so offended by everything?

If we can’t stop being offended, can we please stop being so opinionated?

If we can’t stop being opinionated, can we please begin asking questions of others?

If we can’t be nice, can’t we practice being quiet?

Sex trafficking. Suicide. Mental health.

Mr Potato Head. Dr Suess. Cardi B.

What are we doing?

There’s still a stigma regarding mental health. Men still face ‘being weak’ when showing emotions. People still don’t talk about their feelings when it comes to anything concerning; the mental health crisis is still very real. Yet, we are in an uproar to ensure that Mr Potato Head becomes gender neutral. (And the capitalists are right on target, raising the price of Mr Potato Head to $250 the minute the announcement was made).

Dr Suess. Reports are saying that it was the author and publishing company that pulled the classics from the Read Across America Day celebration; guessing to stay ahead of the nay sayers that would be coming for the books eventually. I’m not sure how accurate the reporting is, but the story stands that Dr Suess has racial undertones. In 1998, Read Across America was developed to encourage kids to read and celebrated on the birthday of a leading children’s author. Today, it’s in jeopardy. However, kids can now sing freely about having a WAP* and the power to be proud of it. (*Wet Ass Pussy…Cardi B.)

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What are we doing?

Without evolution, there’s extinction. I am in support of change and growth. However, somehow it seems we may have lost our way.

Freedom of speech, but only if we agree with what the other party is saying? Is this what we are becoming?

What about days like “Black Friday” when businesses would celebrate great business and it has nothing to do with anything disrespectful. What about Mr Coffee? Will that classic coffee pot become simply Coffee? White Castle? Is that iconic business facing a name change next?

There are 4.5 million victims of sex trafficking across the world, according to the International Labour Office. Victims and their families can be misled about employment opportunities and the nature of the sex trade in which they are working.

And we are not bothered by that?!

I asked this question to a friend of mine yesterday. Well, actually, the question was, “When was the last time you were happy?”

She said the question made her sad.

When you’re not happy, what action do you take? Any? When does your own happiness fall from priority?

How often do you really hear what someone says when you ask, “how are you?”

Like everything else, happiness is a choice. Choose happy, right? Seems easy enough. Yet, if you ask around, it seems happiness is escaping so many of us.

In another conversation yesterday, I’d simply stated, “Today is a good day.” My friend responded, “ooh, I like that.” I’d told her that each morning I’d been waking up and proclaiming this to myself; it seemed like a solid way to meet the sunrise. An easy mantra to set the tone.

At some point I’d stopped that easy mantra. At some point I’d been questioning my own happiness.

Is it really that easy?

How many times have you wished for something? Other than over your birthday candles, I’m sure there’s been other times that you’ve wished…wish my hair was different, wish I fit into those pants, wish I was more fit, wish I had more money, wish my boss appreciated me, wish I knew another language….the list is endless, really. Why wish it? What is stopping you from going after what you’re wishing for.

After all, a wish is basically a goal without a time frame.

Of course, some things are easier said than done. Some things require more of a commitment. If you wanted it badly enough, you’d make it happen…wouldn’t you?

Everything in that list above is doable. Even about being appreciated. Now you can’t control the actions of others, but you can control your reaction. As a matter of fact, without your reaction, the other party is powerless. If you work for someone that doesn’t appreciate you, mention it. Know your worth. Stand up for yourself and back it up with fact. If it falls on deaf ears, you have two choices: change the situation by leaving, or change the way you think about it. It’s a decision. And one that is entirely up to you.

Anything else on that list falls within your control. If you tell me it doesn’t I’ll call you a liar.

Wishes don’t have the commitment.

If you want to change your hair and you don’t because your afraid it won’t look good or others won’t like it or you don’t want to spend the money….then do you really want to change anything? If it takes strings of excuses to talk you out of something, either you’re just talking to have something else to complain about, something else you ‘don’t have’ or ‘won’t get’ or you are totally sidelined by fear. Which one is it?

FEAR. Face Everything And Rise.

What do you really have to lose?! After all, it’s all temporary. Hair grows back. Weight comes back. Lessons learned go rusty. It all will revert back without effort. If you don’t really have the interest, then I’m certain there’s not a huge commitment of effort. What made you get started in the first place?

“I wish I knew the answer.” Well, have you asked the question?

“I wish I could afford to see the world.” Well, have you started saving and cutting expenses or taken a second job or anything?

“I wish people would stop complaining.” Well, start within first.

You get the idea.

What have you been wishing for and today put an end date on it.

My daily posts went to basically non existent and my seemingly endless topics to blog about basically evaporated. Seven days after beginning to feel sick, I’m now beginning to feel better.

Late January, 2020, I had not felt well. Then I’d felt horribly wrong. I was so insanely sick and there was a woman in one of our studios that had the same symptoms. The body aches, the fever, the tiredness…congestion, nagging and chest rattling cough….it was like the plague. The doctors just kept calling it a flu. It was for sure covid, before we knew that covid existed. Because now I’m feeling the exact same way as I was then.

I’m hoping to get back on track with my posts and blogs. I’m very grateful for you reading them. Thank you for reaching out to share with me what you like, how they help, what you resonate with. I love reading your texts and emails and comments.

Stay well!

In sales this is the first question we ask when someone says “it’s too expensive.” We ask what they are comparing it to for reference. This way we have an idea of either what they were expecting or where they are planning or even hoping their budget would be.

This is the case with anything, however. I have five pair of the same exact lulu lemon leggings. I love them. Nice fit, side pockets, well made. I use them for work and for working out. Hell, I wear them going out. They are a staple. All in black. Same pair. I often hear from people, “lulu is sooo expensive.” Well, compared to what? Truth be told, I have had some of my lulus for nearly four years. So when I look at the price I paid vs the amount of wear they’ve given me…it’s almost a bargain! Although when I’m shopping in there I often want more than I’ve budgeted for, the stuff I choose I take care of and I def get my mileage out of it.

*Laundry hack. Drying your stuff ruins it. If you have lycra blend or anything with spandex, the dryer breaks down the fibers and it loses its shape. It also weakens the material over all. Additionally, if you don’t get your gym clothes ‘clean’ before drying, the sweat and stench will be trapped in your material, therefore generating a stink earlier each wear. True story. I air dry the majority of my clothes. Hence my pants lasting four years and counting.

I’ve got a membership to Planet Fitness for $10 per month. Now, even when I wasn’t using it, I cancelled it. After several months of paying my dues and not showing up, I decided that even though it’s just $10, it’s certainly not worth it to just flush it away. I’d cancelled, and I’d rejoined when I was ready. Over time, that $10 can add up and I’m sure you could find better use of your money. I know I can. I’ve also got a Peloton subscription.

My Peloton was an investment for sure. I was determined to be as motivated as those women in their commercials. I’d purchased it and I’d taken a ride on it’s delivery day. Then it sat there for months. No matter how expensive things are, if you don’t use them, they hold no value. I was wasting my money and even offered to sell it to a few peeps that were interested. No takers and I’d recommitted myself to it. Years later, with so much additional programming, more instructors, themed rides and so many friends owning their own, I’m on my Peloton just about daily in one way or another. Was it expensive, well, compared to Planet it was. Since I’m using it regularly, it’s become a very worthy investment.

Would you call this justification for spending money? Maybe. In the end, I take care of my things and they are there for me year after year. To me, that’s priceless.

Not really of course.

But when depression creeps in, that’s basically what it feels like.

Logically, you know that you have plenty of things to be grateful for; so much to be happy about. Emotionally, however, that monster just growls beneath your bed, breaking the chain of thoughts and interrupting all common sense. That monster grows with every negative thought until it’s now beside you, spooning. Yep. He’s big spoon. You’re little spoon and his grip so strong around you, feigning security and comfort. He wants you to know that he understands. In reality, he’s the cause; but he’s so convincing.

I’m fortunate. I’ve got a roof over my head. Food in my fridge. My health. My family’s health. I’ve got a car to drive and gas in the tank. I’ve got clothes on my back and two careers I love. I’ve got friends to count on and besties to confide in. I’ve done some great things and I’m planning on doing many more. I raise money. I donate time. I’ve got a place I like to call home and that is totally zen where I can relax. I’ve got modern technologies that make things easier. I’ve got great coworkers and amazing support. Seemingly, I’ve got it all.

Yet, some days it take every ounce of energy just to get out of bed.

Some days I snuggle with my demons. Some days I slay them.

I know how lucky I am. I know this. I practice gratitude daily. Every damn day. Which is why it’s so hard to admit that some days I just want to quit.

It’s also what makes mental health so difficult to discuss. Say something to the wrong person and you get, “Don’t be ridiculous” or something to that effect. They discount your feelings. They don’t get it. Which is why I’ve just kept it to myself.

Even more sad, I’d decided to talk with someone about things. A professional. I’d called, emailed and messaged half a dozen psychologists/psychologists. Not one returned my call. Read that again: not one. It’s great that their businesses are booming, but what about those in need? Someone asks for help and it’s ignored. I find that incredibly scary and equally disappointing.

Some people say that depression is like drowning and watching everyone else around you breathe.

We are facing so many changes in society. There’s so much more anger in the world today. What we need is more empathy.

I pride myself on being high energy and a positive influence to all around me. That’s still true. You just don’t know what someone else is dealing with. Ever.

Be kind. Give compliments freely. Reach out to someone and thank them. Acknowledge someone. It’s really not that hard. It’s just a choice and a little bit of effort.

You just never know, you may be saving that person.

You’re certainly helping yourself along the way.

Traditional meditation may not be for everyone. Personally I’ve found it very useful, especially when my chest is being gripped by anxiety and I’m struggling to breathe. I put on a guided meditation and concentrate on the soothing voice and voila, the anxiety subsides. It’s not always been that easy, but seems I’ve found my groove now. Which is fanfreakingtastic to say the least.

Many years ago I had a series of habits; some would call them ‘ticks’. Pretty sure it stemmed from the hundreds of fitness classes I’d taught, even personal clients I’d trained, where I’d just count repeatedly. Counted reps. Counted rest. Just counted. It felt like I’d spent thousands on education and certifications to be able to count to 12. Maybe 15. Anyway…

I’d count. I’d count my steps. I’d count to ten repeatedly while waiting in line at the food store. I’d count beats in a song. Some may think this maddening. I’d found it grounding. Even relaxing.

Then I’d progressed into finger tapping. I’d tap my thumb to each of my finger pads, back and forth and forth and back. I remember running on the treadmill and a very successful and well known runner in town approached me. He’d basically walked up and said, “Stop doing that; you’re wasting energy.” He’d never ever spoken with me prior and I was taken back when he spoke now. I’m not sure if I was more surprised that he’d cared enough to offer advice or that I’d actually been doing this for miles. Either way, it was my zone. Each time I’d board a plane and usually for the duration of the flight. I’d tapped. Now of course, tapping is a ‘thing’…who knew?

Meditation and soothing techniques don’t just belong to the yogis; although they have it mastered for sure.

In these days of seemingly endless stress, it’s as easy as changing what you tell yourself. Like, “I have to go to work today.” How about, “I get to have another day of gainful employment.” Also, “I have to work out today.” It’s a whole different mindset when you change it to “I get to workout today!” Make it less of a chore and more of a privilege; after all, it is a privilege and one that not everyone gets to experience. Just by changing your words, you are changing your outlook. Simply change ‘have’ to ‘get’ and see how wonderful your world becomes.

As you’re waiting in a store with long lines, or sitting in a traffic jam, or any other inconvenience, take the moment to remind yourself ‘I’m right where I am supposed to be.’ Take a deep breath or two, count something down, and feel your stress evaporate. It’s a choice to make a change, but with some practice, you’ll see the differences it can make in your days.

Namaste.