We develop humans within our bodies. (Yes, the first step takes two. But the growing, feeding and nurturing is all on the woman). We then basically push a watermelon thru a key hole or have to have our organs laid on a table to have the baby removed. And shortly after we continue to develop milk for the infants survival all while the pressure immediately setting in on getting our bodies back or being able to please our in laws while handling this baby stranger that’s handed over to us without instruction. We figure it out. How is it possible that there are still cave men among us that can’t figure out that women just may be able to add some value in the work place? Or really, any place?
I’m not saying all men. Let’s make it clear. I’m not saying always or never on the topic. I’m not saying that situations are or are not justified. I’m just sharing some experiences; let’s not get all twisted.
I feel I can hold my own in most cases. I’ve learned to ask more questions, become a better listener, and basically to let people talk…you’ll find what you were looking for. What’s I’ve also learned, is that sometimes, that active listening is mistaken for silence and my follow up questions are taken for stupidity. Again, not always, hell, not even often. But sometimes. And it’s so far been in the company of a male.
I was on a zoom call with half a dozen participants or so. We were having an idea share of sorts and any time a woman shared a thought, this guy immediately shot it down. To make matters worse, he would continue to talk and go on and on and on and on about why it wouldn’t work, or hasn’t worked, or would be a waste of time. At this point in the zoom, as we are required to have cameras on, you could see on the faces of our peers that this guy was the waste of time. Everyone continued to politely carry on and redirect.
The gentleman refused to participate in corporate rolled out events, created his own promotions, shut out any corporate support and directive and blamed everyone around him for his lack of success. Especially the very women that had proven success with the methods discussed.
He felt he knew better. He felt he was smarter. And this is not an assumption; he was thoughtful enough to let us know. thankyouverymuch.
Are we still hung up on gender roles? Are we seriously still under the guise of women should be seen and not heard? Are we seriously believing that smarts, drive and passion come from what’s below the belt and not between our ears? It just can’t be.
Well, maybe for this guy, and a few others, it can be.
But it shouldn’t.
If the only way you are able to get your point across is through insults, interruptions and arguments, maybe take a minute and reflect. If your success isn’t going as expected, maybe take a minute to reflect. Man or woman, gender fluid or transgender, straight, gay bi… instead of blaming those around you and pointing fingers, remember this: when you point your finger away, three are pointing back to your direction.
Instead of reflecting away from you, turn the mirror toward you. Take a look. It’s not always everyone else, is it?
Gym Girl Dana 