“I’m fine, thanks.”

Often times, that’s the standard answer to, “How are you?”, right? It’s basic. It’s common. It’s knee jerk. It’s also probably accurate also.

Fine. Fucked up. Insecure. Neurotic. Emotional.

Yep. Most people may actually feel fine. I know I have.

When people ask me how I am, I make a conscious decision to answer uncommonly. I use words like fantastic, awesome, amazing and I mean them when I choose them. Even if I’m less than that, do I believe the server (whomever else) really cares?

“Good evening. How are you?”

“Stressed out, bloated and in need of a drink. You?”

Full transparency, I’ve been known to reply in those ways also…so…

Do I think the server really did care? Of course not. But my reply catches them off guard and brings them to present and away from auto pilot. I like that. I appreciate them being in the moment and I like that they caught themselves in the process. Especially with social media and conveniences of online, manners and eye contact are frequently out the window.

When I reply with an enthusiastic, “Incredible, thank you! How are you?”, it usually causes a double take. They are so used to good/fine/ok that they are already proceeding with their next line. Again, I’m engaging with them and it’s appreciated from them, just as their reaction is appreciated from me.

Consequently, if I tell you that I’m fine. I mean that, too.

Fucked up. Insecure. Neurotic. Emotional.

Happens to the best of us.