Maybe not immediately after a break up, but at some point we realize that we were in love with this person and they are still going to be a part of our lives, so lets make the best of it. At least, that’s how we see it in our family.
My sons dad, Dennis, was my first great love. We challenged each other, changed each other a bit and had a friendship that was and still is the basis of our success in parenting and our non marital relationship.
Most people divorce and dread seeing their ex, let alone having to spend any time with them. Often times being across the room from one another, forcing the child(ren) to choose where to look for attention. Sadly, the tension is often overshadowing the event, causing more stress and strife and blame pushing. With us, we knew that although we once wanted one another, we now wanted what was best for one another, and mainly to do what is best for our son, Shane.
Our holidays consist of myself, Shane, Shane’s dad, Shane’s stepmom, my mom, my dad, my stepmom and at one point, my ex. All together and truly having a great time! Dennis and I continue to have an amazing friendship and one that I’m truly grateful for. Dennis was lucky enough to not only have me as a best friend, but he’s met and married another bestie and she’s nothing short of awesome. As a mother, you can’t ask for more than a woman that treats your children well. She has always been good to Shane, she’s always taken care of Dennis, and she’s always been an ally and friend to me and even my parents. It’s a blessing that many people can’t appreciate.
It wasn’t always easy. It wasn’t an instant bond. But it’s one that over time was built on mutual respect, fierce loyalty and a deep love. We all shared the common goal of Shane. His happiness as well as a life lesson or two…
Just because the marriage didn’t work out didn’t mean we had to throw the foundation away too.
Often people ask me how I’ve done it. Or why. Well, I certainly couldn’t have done it alone. Dennis was just as much a part of our success, as is his wife. Why? Why wouldn’t we? Why wouldn’t you?
Although Dennis and I are a long way from being in love with one another, we remain close. We continue to talk and work through things together, we still make fun of one another and still encourage each other.
And when I see Shane displaying one of his dads many mannerisms, I don’t get annoyed; I actually appreciate it and sometimes take the moment to reflect on just what is so special about us.
Gym Girl Dana 