“I’ll be happy when….”

When I lose this weight. When I get that promotion. When I’m out of debt. When I get these shoes I’ve wanted. When this happens or that happens….then I’ll be happy. Sure.

Happiness is fleeting. Happiness is fickle.

I’m sure we are similar that we’ve put stock in something that would then provide us with happiness. And maybe it did. Until it didn’t. And then we move on to the next tangible thing and convince ourselves that it’s now the source of joy.

I still do it today. I’ll be happy when I get these 20lbs off. Maybe I’ll be happy to hit my goal but guess what? I’ll find something else to focus on, something else that is ‘wrong’ with me, something else that will prevent me from enjoying what I thought would make me happy.

Happiness comes from within. You’ve heard it prior to reading it here, but it’s true.

At my leanest and most fit, I’d still been chasing happiness. I’d been a successful athlete, however, I’d wanted to be faster. In the gym, I wanted to be stronger. Out socially, I’d wanted to be younger. It’s always something. And what I’ve learned is, there will always be someone faster, smarter, stronger, younger…you get the idea. So why am I chasing something seemingly unobtainable?

I’ve found happiness. I chose it. I find it in my choices that will get me to my goals. I find it in my work successes. I find it in my teammates. I find it in my relationships. I find it through green lights on my commute and the convenience of ez pass. I find happiness in the greetings of my puppies and the vibe in my home. I find happiness is having the ability to work out, walk freely, modern conveniences, stocked pantries, deep laughter and trusted friendships. I chose happiness every day and focus on what I have rather than what I want. Let’s face it, I’ll most likely continue to want more…it’s how I’m wired.

I’m human. Things go wrong. Hell, I’ve spent several entries sharing my disappointments and short comings. But it’s how I move forward from there that makes the difference.

You’re on your way to work and there’s traffic. Are you pissed off and frustrated and filled with road rage? Why? Maybe try accepting that you’re exactly where you need to be at that particular moment. That the world isn’t plotting against you and getting on your nerves, maybe it’s actually saving you and keeping you out of harms way.

You’re at work and a customer/co worker/boss is blowing a gasket and the shrapnel is landing in your direction. You’re catching the brunt of the issues. Is it your fault? No. Even if you do play a part in the stemming of the frustration, their reaction is entirely their own and truly has nothing to do with you. Even as they are carrying on, their actions are a reflection of them, not of you. It’s how you react to that situation now that you have to own…do you let it affect your entire day or are you able to absorb a few bad minutes and let them go? Four minutes should not be able to dismantle your entire day. C’mon.

You ate the ___________ (insert tempting food here). “Great! Now I’ve blown my whole day! Mine as well just eat this, that and the other thing because I’ve failed again and will just start tomorrow again!” You ate it, now negate it. Make better choices. One cheat doesn’t dismantle an entire day! Pull your shit together and move forward. You ate it and it was awesome and it’s what you wanted and what you chose to do in that moment. So acknowledge it and move forward. It’s no one else’s fault for supplying them. It’s no one else’s influence that made you eat it. It was a choice that was entirely in your control. Now accept it and move on from it in a new positive direction.

The scenarios can go on and on, but I’m feeling confident that you get the idea. I’m also fairly certain that if you think of your last few days you can own some of your own behaviors. Stop blaming others for your choices. Stop looking for happiness within other people and other things. Recognize it for what it is. An intangible emotion that you can experience at any moment during any day. Even when things seem bleak, I’ll revisit this lesson:

If everyone threw their problems into a pile, you’d scramble to grab yours back. The devil you know is often better than the devil you don’t. I’m sure of it.